Wednesday, November 21, 2012

The story of july drama mamma's ...

(i did not spell check or proof read..there was just too freakin much... so what you see is what ya get lol )

So from the beginning i knew i would eventually hit the hot topic of "Mommy Boards"... This subject is always a painful one for me lol. Some how, Some way, i got caught up in the Mommy boards from hell. My story is a long one, So unless you are constipated and waiting to poo, taking a long bubble bath, or reading this before bed, I am sure most of you wont get to finish it lol. 
First July Mommy experience. It all started when I was about 2 months pregnant. Like any excited neurotic mother, I read and joined everything i could pertaining to this wonderful alien growing in my uterus. "What to expect when you're expecting" is a wonderful, insightful guide to your pregnancy and all the nasty shit that happens in those dreaded months. One day, while looking for apps on my blackberry, i came across the "WHAT TO EXPECT" APP...otherwise known by seasoned mommies as "wte". In this app, was a group of messaging boards in which i chose to join. My screen name was "Littlechunksmommy85". I joined the "expecting in july 11 board. ... whenever i had a question, or something exciting i would post it to these boards. Some times there were women who got just down right mean. In fact one young "ftm" (first time mom) asked if it was ok to have Velveeta shells and cheese while about 4 months pregnant. These women went absolutely nuts on this girl. Another girl had an issue with her sons name. Her husband wanted to name her kid "Anthony" which was the same name she observed he had planned to name a baby with his ex.  Again they tore her a new one. These went on and on until people were afraid to post in the "expecting July 2011" message boards on wte. From there on, the original "JULY MOMMIES 2011" FACEBOOK group was created.

I first joined and then recruited many others from the wte site. Things had gotten down right hateful and mean in the "app" and we were all glad to move to facebook. Not only was facebook easier to navigate, the wte app always glitched after writing a huge post, but the group was much more personal and real. Because there was a name, face, and profile to go along with your post in the group, we found people were much more calm and less rude. Everyone was happy go lucky and we all bonded very quickly. Until the "wte" app drama started to follow into the group. There was one FUCKING CUNT, and i only use that word for severe emphasis, names "kellyanne"... This girl was completely vile and just down right mean. If i could make a bet right at this moment, i would put money on the fact that she was a republican. She loved to degrade every single post and made it very clear anyone on medicaid should be euthanized. At one point she had made very many snide remarks to me, including one about her hopes for me to lose my baby so she wouldn't have to pay (with her tax dollars) for me to give birth. A lot of the women in the fb mommy group we flabbergasted by what this woman had to say. But there was about 5 who liked her and respected her right to give such a horrid opinion to me, and many others. When this all came to light they decided to make a "rule" about mentioning the wte app. If you were caught you got an email as a warning. If you mentioned it again, they would boot your ass back to regular non placenta facebook. Me and a few others (candy and aimee) were floored by this obvious abuse of power and censorship. We forged on and created what many to believe WAS the original, "WTE JULY BABIES 2011".

With the rule that no one would be bullied, or censored, or "mommied" in this group, and all would be accepted to join, we grew the group to well over 200 members. In fact i made a post personally and recruited many of them myself. Candy and Aimee were wonderful friends and pregger buddies to me in that group. We shared everything. Jokes, belly pics, sonogram pics, hot topics, annoyances, craving, sexcaspades.. you name it. It was wonderful and we stayed in that group until our babies were born. We each had a belly buddy and awaited every ones arrivals. Mine was Savannah. She was pregnant and having a girl. We became super close. Along with a buddy i had kept from the original group, Lisa. She ended up having her son on the same day as i had Gray. Everything was so great and i couldn't imagine never speaking to these wonderful strangers again.

Our babies were growing rapidly and so was the group. Some how it had gotten out that we had such a tight nit awesome group and people were joining well after the babies had been born. One in particular was shawndah. I really liked this new girl who also had a son that shred graysons birthday. One of the originals, ellen, and i had become close also. She was amazing and always there for advice or a raunchy laugh. Melissa was another who eventually i became close with. Her son was born in the end of June but she had also been there since the beginning of the mommies groups and remained in the original mommy fb group and the spin off. She would randomly skype with me and we became super close also. There were many women who i would claim at this point were amazing great people who i very much respected. Andrea, Casey, Savannah, Lisa, Sarah. Jordan, Daniella,candy, Aimee, Tiffany, Shannon,Kristin, Lacey, shawndah, nurit,Melissa, Ellen, carol,amber, holly, Crysta, and a few more. But those i was very close with. Out of all i only talk to about 6 of them. Things went spiraling down hill... Fast...

After all the new additions to our spin off group, a few of what were called "original mommies" were severely peeved at one mysterious caller. To this day, i have no clue who decided to pick up a phone and block their number, and make an obscene judgmental phone call to a mommy. Somehow, somewhere, i seriously swear kellyanne is probably to blame lol. But it happened.. so one of the "quiet" mommies decided to form a new group. This new group was made so we could "protect" ourselves from all of these horrible other mothers who cared enough about their babies to join a mommy board. The new group was called "JULY MOMMIES <3 background:="background:" class="goog-spellcheck-word" yellow="yellow">goog
-spellcheck-word" data-blogger-escaped-babies="babies">fbgroup and i felt horrible about leavinf the others behind. I am pretty sure every person i liked and knew was not the midnight caller, i added to that group. I really just didn't want to hurt any ones feeling or leave anyone out. So the group went on a bit longer... getting a bit more catty....
Now our babies are like 5 months old, and shit is getting real. Anyone who knows me knows how avid i am about my opinion. I was completely 100 percent always honest about my thoughts when it came to hot topics. I have never been one to agree with the majority to "be cool". A lot of mothers believed in different ideas of safe parenting, including co-sleeping. As someone who had known the mishaps involved and has been completely neurotic their whole life, i believed co-sleeping to be 100 percent unsafe when it came to newborns. I understood where these women were coming from, but nothing you did or said could convince me this was a good idea. That is when shit hit the fan. Women started to post articles or googles about the benfits for co-sleeping. I didn't care what blossom said, i was not going to change my mind. This was my child's life, not a game of monopoly... i am not taking any fucking chances. I did have some friends who were able to agree to disagree, but all in all a lot of the mean mommies would not accept that. The first "secret private" group was formed here. In this group i was a topic. My outlandish attempts to explain why i felt the way i did about co-sleeping, formula feeding, and having 19 kids was a hot topic for them. Eventually uni got a big head and tried to implement the "email warning" rule like the first group. My thought were as such, "I have a mommy, this group was created to stray away from people like you with the incessant need to control others. I do not want to be a part of a group that is dictated by mean girls". Uni then deleted me from the group. 50 percent were in outrage, 20 percent were happy, and the other 30 percent really could care less and stayed in the group but joined the new one... the next spin off... "THE DRAMA FREE JULY 2011" group....

The "drama free" immediately became a wonderful heartfelt close nit group. The mommies there were supportive, funny, raunchy, intelligent and pretty much drama free. We had mommy meet up and girls night out via chat rooms with web cams. We were not afraid to tell everyone everything, to post pictures of ourselves naked, or tell our biggest secrets. This group had an amazing sense of loyalty and was created by who i thought was a wonderful friend. Andrea, who had the cutest little boy and a sometimes over reacting need to post about her step son. No one seemed to care what anyone had to say or chat about because our loyalty and hate for the "heart group" was too strong to break. Until the next fight.... Shannon.

Shannon was a military wife and kind of a nut job. We always had a frenemy type of relationship and she always knew how to take things to an inappropriate level. Shannon got into a fight with candy one night over a comment she had made about age. Candy was slight older, always wiser, and a wonderful mother. But sometimes, she would let little petty actions slip. Most of the time we all respected her right to wig and ignored whatever was taken offensively. After all, candy was the momma bear and we enjoyed the respectful peace she radiated. at least then. Shannon had left the group for about the 4th time and swore she was not going back. She then created a new group. The "original bitch group" spin off. Now in the bitch group she had 3 members. Myself, herself, and Melissa. Melissa had somehow become a staple in every group. She actually became the butt of a "group whore" joke and didn't seem to mind. She always seemed to be online and available to chat, therefor she had an awesome relationship with a lot of mommies. When this group was started by Shannon, it was only the 3 of us... a place to rant and chat without any offense to other mommies. And then one day it started to grow. All the "popular" mommies who liked inappropriate jokes and strong opinions joined in to the bitch group. We chatted about everything under the sun and other mommies. It really was not one of my more "proud" moments. We found a hot topics group in which we entered only to reak havoc and be kicked out of lol. At that point Shannon and i started to really embrace the enemy part of our relationship. Some of the things said in the group got a little bit too mean for my taste and i started to feel uncomfortable. I took a step myself.

"RANT BITCH AND SHARE TOO MUCH" was then created. I myself wanted to stray away from the shit talking aspect and have more of a place to vent and share horrible ecards with the word cunt in them lol. This place took off and i invited people to ask real life friends with or without kids to join. It did and things went well for a while. Lots of laughs were shared here.... until.

Shawndah and Savannah start fighting. Savannah, my belly buddy and the mommy of grays pretend gf leaves my group. Ok i can live with that. Things remain calm and friendships are still had. Now some of the mommies in the drama free group, mostly the highly religious, or too sweet and innocent are not invited to this so called "bitch group" or rant and share too much. In fact Melissa had taken over the bitch group and it was still top secret. I abided by the rules... who wants to be the negative Nancy who tattles on everyone? Not fucking me! Loyalty is important! So when i made my group, which stemmed from that one, it also had to be secret. In order to protect the feelings and secrecy of the bitch group.

One day in rant and share too much, someone brought up an annoying chick attempt at photography. This girl had made a post in drama free about starting her own business as a photographer. She went out and bought a camera (dslr) and took some pictures in a practice photo shoot. The picture she posted and ASKED FOR OPINIONS on was of a girl, sitting in a cave, holding what appeared to be a Dorito next to her face and smiling. The lighting was horrible, the picture was posed, and it had no feeling or depth. This is what she planned on using to get business? Lol ok. She asked for opinions and i tried as nicely as i could to mention that sometimes you should just let pictures happen on their own. Not pose people ...or chips... and expect a good picture. Well she was not happy with my advice and made it known. Next thing you know chips were a hot topic and hilariously funny in the bitches groups. Andrea, who was friends with the chip girl Brittany, decided she was going to make a huge post in drama about how mean girls were making fun of said chip and beating a dead horse. In that post she happened to make a reference to "sahm's" or stay at home moms. This put everyone in an uproar and the next battle began. Andrea became the new uni. She was then taking control of the group and deleting whatever posts she liked. Everything was chaotic and crazy. Shawndah and Savannah started going at it again. Putting me in the middle. I refused to take Savannah's side and said i liked them both and they would have to battle it on their own. This caused Savannah to be pissed and leave the group, but not without first tattling about the bitches group. Drama free was no longer drama free.

The next wave to hit was epic. Andrea and Brittany then made friends with majken who was a severely quiet strange girl. Majken saw this as her time. The moment she had been waiting for. She was going to be a mommy board somebody, and she was going to take me down to get there. I had met majken 3 times. Once we flew to SC to a mommy meet up at Ellen's house where we met shawndah also. This was a wonderful trip but majken was welll, just a little "off". I actually felt bad for her because i could tell she was a little socially "different" and tried my best to protect her from shawndahs shit talking. Shawndah was the ultimate mean girl .She knew her shit when it came to alluding others into believing she was your best friend, and the bashing your shoes coat and mommy abilities behind your back. So when all the drama hit, majken decided to create her own group. The only rule was this, you could not be friends with heather lol. Um ... are we 5? Because i seriously felt a pig tail pull with that move! Next she tried to blame me for stealing from one of my most favorite mommies, carol.

We had a mommy meet up in may, a few weeks prior to the drama and a few weeks after the South Carolina meet up. Carol was one of my favorite mommies, i would have seriously given her my last dollar if i had to. She was an amazing real woman, with an awesome smile, sense of humor, and amazing intelligence! So when majken brought her to the meet up, i was sooo excited. Carol had brought her Ipad with her and before she left i told her, and i remember, "don't leave that ipad on the table because i can not drive it back to you" lol. She took it and went on her way to the car and put her things in her trunk. Now carol is positive she put it in the trunk. She and majken drove hours back to majkens house where carols car was in Orlando. Majken made some shady moves and unloaded all of carols things from her car to carols. When carol got hom, the ipad was gone. She immediately called majken and asked her to check her car. She could tell right off the bat that majken was a little odd sounding and knew something was up. Right after majken calls me, and tells me to looks for it. I of course knew carol had taken it and explained so. After all of this the drama occurred, majken made her move to create the new group, and then told everyone i had stolen carols ipad. To this day carol will tell you that she is positive majken took it and i would never steal anything from anyone. Just goes to show you that you can meet some major crazies in a mommy board. I blocked majken, and she blocked carol and her group died one day later. Congrats on that btw... shortest lived group ever!

So while majken is having group failure, Andrea decided to take Savannah and a few others and turn them against me. It was heather apocalypse number 2 lol. And all over a fucking picture with a chip. I am sorry but who really gives a fuck? Has no one ever heard of a block button? One push and the drama is gone lol. So in this group a friend of mine decided to bring me up negatively and the aftermath was crushing.

People can say a lot of things about me, but dont ever say that i am a bad mother. The things some of these ladies wrote about me and grayson were purely disgusting and sick. All of them went on block and i spent my first mothers day in tears. For once they hit me where it really hurt. They won the battle but not the war. From that day forward i really trusted no one, and that was a good thing... because the real backstabbers were still lingering by my side... 

A few months go by but nothing is ever really the same. 75 percent of the group has blocked majken and the others and the rest are awfully quiet. 50 shades of bitch club then rises from the dust. It was my group. I invited who i wanted and we had some fun for the last time. It was all good until homophobic chicken got involved...

Now everyone knew who i was close with and who i wasn't. But i did make a few mistakes on choosing my allies. Melissa was one who had been there since the beginning. When her son had no crib set, i bought her one with my tax money. When she decided to come last minute to Florida to visit me i cleaned and opened my doors to her, bought food and gas and her airplane ticket, and arranged to drive 3 hours to a mommy meet up for her. We had an interesting time, but something was off. Melissa complained about everything. And at the end, never even said thank you. After that, we stayed close, but never like we were. Casey and i were close also, i truly thought of her as one of my best mommy friends. And shawndah had become more than keeping her close to stay safe, i really respected her and thought i had been wrong. All of this went on until one day when chick fila announced they were against gay rights and donated money to many anti-gay charities.

Being the daughter of a gay woman, having gay friends, and having half a fucking brain to know that hate was wrong, the chick fila nonsense really bothered me. I posted on my regular page countless pictures mocking the stupidity of this christian company and also made it very clear i would no longer be spending my cash there. One of the girls in "50 shades" the newest group decided to get into a confrontation with my mom on my personal page and said some really ignorant things. I was outraged! This prompted me to make a post in my group, 50 shades, about the said drama with my mom and how i did not appreciate that. Well next thing i know, shawndah and casey are full fledged bringing it on about chick fila. I said lets just agree to disagree and thought that would be the end. Nope. They then followed into multiple groups (wte) (drama free) and (bacon) provoking this stupid shit about chickfila. Just trying to get a rise out of me. I left each group one by one and decided enough was enough. But Melissa made a new group and asked me to come back.

After that a lot seems blurry. Many people chalked it up to "my drama" again. It didn't matter how i tried to avoid it, they wanted to be in the popular club and would agree with whatever shandah and casey spewed to them. I was not there to tell the turh... and i worked all day. I didnt have time to beg strangers to be my friend. Thos who still cared, stayed. But then shit got even worse, melissa got involved with casey and shawndahs shit. It was made very clear i was pushed on the outs and they were forming their own gang. I simply didn't care. I blocked them all and went on.

That group stayed small for a while, and 50 shades continued on without me. Even though i created it, from what i had heard shawndah and casey were more than happy to take over. My real life friend "erin" had been in there. She took my place and everyone was happy to kiss her ass lol. Fine by me. Life went on and on and they continues their shit talking without me... I was happy and moving on... until...

The election. Again, it was my personal fb wall that caused an argument. First argument was with erin, her constant romney posts drove me insane. And the cryptic status updates got old. I knew that she was kissing ass and getting it in return with shawndah and casey, so i just let it all go. Who needs enemies with friends like that? So time went on and drama reared its ugly head one more time. This was the last time. Through this whole journey i had been friends with a few people and had never ever fought. One of those was jordan. I still love jordan to this day and consider her a real life friend. Also amber and sarah and ellen. But jordan and i got into a snidbit of a fight in the last remaining group i was in. We had just opened it up and thought enough time had gone by to introduce some old and new members. Things were great and really active. Until mel and shawndah came in. Jordan for some reason had touched a nerve with me and i her. We had a small fight resulting in her making a ridiculous post about me in my group. She then knew it was wrong and apologized to me. But that didn't stop all the texts and private messages she had gotten the minute the fight hit the airwaves. Shawndah, mel, jennifer (who was the worst) and ale (who pretended she was my friend) all made horrible nasty messages or comments about me. Shawndah and mel were a given. I mean lets face it, they showed me "the light" a long time ago. But jen and ale pretended to be my friend as of 2 hours ago! and now they are saying this horrible shit about me? How sick and childish... it was on.

I will say i went out with a silent bang. I let everyone know the true colors of these crazy freaks who i thought were once my friends. Since when did i become such a lonely pathetic stay at home mom drama freak? This was all absurd. Erin who was still in the groups lets me know how much our friendship meant to her and that she would drop those "wacko's" in a heart beat. But the weird thing is... she didn't. She created a whole group for them to secretly talk crap in. And then named it "shiny happy people". How ironic. These women have shown me a lot. They have shown me that whether you know someone online or in real life. They will most certainly fuck you over, even if it is just to gain Internet popularity. They have shown me that standing up for yourself is important, because others will lie about you faster than your head can spin. They have shown me that women can be down right nasty. Way worse than any man could dream of being. And they have shown me that having a true friend, will be proven through many trials and tribulations. Ther will most definitely be that someone who will stand by your side even if it means being different, or facebook blocked. It mean that there are people who can sit back and laugh without having to make everything so fucking complicated. And it shows that even though some people are completely scandalous, it doesnt mean they are 100 percent at fault. Looking back at some of the things i may have said or sone, i feel bad. But not nearly as bad as these people should feel. The grown up in me wants to remember the stories they shared of their sisters death, or husband who might be gay, or strange obsession with their husbands job or friends...Just so i can possibly give reasons to why they would be so deranged... but its not worth it.... whats worth it is to know i am better than mommy boards...

So when i wake up, and check facebook, i know i have real friends. When i open my door and take my kid to the park, im enjoying real life. When i pick up my phone and see a text, i don't have to wonder if that person just got done shit talking. I have all of this because the people still in my life have proved they are real... and not psycho's sitting at home with a lap top and bon bons lol ...

PS- i also want to make it clear that not all mommy board people are nuts. I miss some of them a lot. I have also been a part of a normal functioning non affiliated july mom group for a few months now. It is less intense and totally actually drama free. Im lovin it ;)

xoxo- heather


  1. Awe. <3 ya Heather! How sad that we all had to go through ^^that to realize who's real and who just has too much free time!

    1. very true amber! but i am glad i did.. i learned a lot and became super close with real people! let them spend there free time talking shit... in fact.. i hope this blog provided days and weeks of things to chat about and inside jokes... lucky for them they "saw the light" bahahhaa

  2. Ahhhhhhh Damn!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :)

  3. I can not believe we dealt with all that for so long, it was almost like a sick addiction. Wait we had that talk Facebook should be Crackbook. LOL I love you, you are truly one of my BFF's. Even there were hundreds of wackos at least I made a couple of really good friends out of all this shit you are on of them and so is Amber <3

  4. Jordan i love you too! i am so glad all that drama was for a reason, it brought me to real friends! i am super thankful for you all~!! i love you lots !!

  5. Hey sweety, I remember some of that but wasn't apart of all those groups but I'm sorry they've all been so hard on you :( I don't alway agree with your opinions on things but I absolutely respect your right to have them. I actually quite often get a good laugh from you cuz I love your outspokeness! My off fb life has so much bull shut drama that I try to
    stay out of that I completely stay out of the drama on the pages, but I've got your back. Your straight forward outspoken rants, whether I agree with them or not, are refreshing! Xoxoxo <3

  6. AWW thank you dione! It is nice to know there are sane mommies out there who dont band wagon!! love u lots! xoxo

  7. Ok from now on, if you want to comment... you must state who you are ... no more of this one person posting as different people over and over ANONYMOUSLY lol


If you are here to troll, dont even comment. I will be removing all comments that i see derogratory or un-needed. Thanks, h