Friday, November 16, 2012

"Thanks for calling Little land of drama, this is heather...."

So you would seriously think my job would be cake. I work with one other chick for about 5 minutes a day and the rest of the time I am alllll alone. NOPE. My job is the most dreadful place I have ever been. Ever heard of making a mountain of a mole hill? Well I am pretty sure my boss has mastered making dinosaur  manure out of a mouse turd. Never, in my almost 30 years, have I met a more dramatic group of middle aged, or old, men. Each one of them has their own little quirks and peeves that is special just to them. For the most part I get along with most of them. But I must say, out of 6 of them, 2 of them really piss me off (not including the boss man). Like , piss me off more than an "under the skin on the side of your nose pimple". I will never understand why the drama is so necessary to them.

I always seem to land these jobs with the most unfortunate stipulations. Lol, boys and girls, college is definitely important! I come to work everyday and do what I can. I take calls when they come in, and I dispatch them. Collecting a bit of info and shoving it in to the dinosaur program seems like a cinch. If only. Somehow, someway, no matter what, something goes wrong. Now, I understand that in a perfect world, I would only be blamed for thing I do wrong personally. Not here... someone could fart into a leather seat before my shift, and if it still smells 3 hours later, its my fault.

Boss: "Well what the hell heather? Why the hell did you give him that fuckin call? Didn't you ask what he had for lunch first? Don't you tell the driver they need to fart outside the fuckin trucks? Now I have to hear this whiny little pansy ass complain about inhaling nose poop! God dammit, cant you do anything I fuckin tell you?!!!" ...

Me: "I'm sorry boss, I will make sure I let him know where to fart next time. :( :( "

Boss: "God damn right you will. I can have you replaced, I know where to tell these guys to fart and no one is farting on my god damn truck without my permission... I have been doing this for god dam 30 years! No little democrat liberal is going to come in here and tell anyone they can fart where they want"

Me: :: hangs head:: ::silence::  (thinking why is it my fucking fault if that dumbass ate a burrito...shut up already)

30 minutes goes by and my boss has yelled at everyone in the office, changed four guys schedules, and locked all the bathrooms and taken away toilet paper. That is just one freakin hour at my work is like. Now the subject matter of farting was just an example. He has never actually blamed me for someone elses flatulence, but I have been blamed for things that are clearly ridiculous. Such as a driver wanting to take 2 hours off to eat dinner with his family.

I walk in to my shift 10 minutes early. My boss has hands flying, his sidekick is grinning, and the other girl is packing her shit to haul ass. Really? Fucking wonderful... I sit down and immediately am bombarded, screamed at, and then robbed of 2 of my scheduled days. While confused, and trying to get to the bottom of the screaming , I then find out what the issue was and dig a pretend hole in my chair and hide. All i can think during the screaming is WHY?! Why is this my fucking job... why cant he just chill the hell out! Is it really that big of a deal? And why the hell is it my fucking fault what someone else does or needs to do? After he screams at me again for being silent, he then tells me I will be fired shortly... not because of anything I have done, but because the effect this driver will have on business. After this driver has eaten his meal, business will just simply vanish, and then he will no longer need to pay me minimum wage to sit alone in the hood at night (secretly blogging to you all). I am pretty used to this by now and I can fight my need to cry or freak out. Once he sees that he is not having any effect on me, he will just try harder. So I have to gravel to him. It is not always easy, and sometimes doesn't work. I am usually pretty good at schmoozing anyone i need to, but this guy is a piece of work. I pretty much could tell him any damn compliment I could think of, only to have him pick out one fucking word and flip it allllll around on me. It is scary. And frankly, just poor business.

In fact, scared should be my job description. I sit alone at night in a dark towing building filled with rats. Yes... Rats. They are in the walls... the garage.. and the dumpster. It is super freakin creepy,l and almost as disgusting as the constant harassment from my boss.

The rats are not even the worst part though, and not the only ones scavenging for food. The homeless barefoot grown men wandering the hood drunk, are far more scary then a dumb rodent. I have to venture outside every once in a while, and we carry no cash, but behind the locked doors and gates... IM STILL SCARED! I seriously have never been one to enjoy chillen in the ghetto.

All in all... my job has good points. I do get to be alone a lot, and blog to you all. I have a TV Inever watch with cable. And as long as i want to watch "fox news" i am welcome to do so... eyeroll.  Some amusing and funny days where i don't want to spike my tab with Drano, I dont mind it here. But the bad shit, totally outweighs the good. So IS life. At least mine... I just don't see why this has to be so dramatic. I have never called in, never missed a call, never been late. I always enter all the information in correctly. I am polite, eager to help, and friendly to my co-workers. So why all the crazy shit? Do I not stay late for my boss without him even asking if I have any plans or a life for after my shit? YES. Do I work holidays when everyone else is with their families eating dinner? YES! Have I not fixed a phone or computer for you, or cleaned your disgusting dirty office for hours without even being asked? Yes!~ Then why can you not show me a little damn respect, none the less give me a raise to a wage above minimum wage?  FML ... I need to just find another fucking job. All this crap in the little land of drama... is just plain old.   XOxo-H


  1. Wow the Fox news would be the end all for me! Lol this made me laugh, more so cause its true!

  2. lol thanks mom... i could have told the whole truth but then they "might have to kill me" ;)

  3. Heather you are better than this job and I know you could find a better job. You should definitely start looking! On the job abuse should not be tolerated. You could take a class or two at MCC (State college now). You should see if you qualify (I am sure you do) for Federal Aid. Just take some computer classes or nursing classes. It is never too late. I got my degree at 30 and it has opened more doors!

    1. I have student loans... just another left over fuck up from "ned"... ugh

  4. Oh yeae I forgot to tell you to "get off yor Obama phone and get to work!"

  5. Btw, my boss did once remind me that the cash, hud, and foodstamps i get every month are paid for by his tax dollar.. i was like HOLEY FUCK?! I am getting all that free shit? Since when? WHOO HOOO!@!!!

  6. Slow down there and don't spend it all in one place! Maybe you will qualify for a visit from the Manatee Santa!


If you are here to troll, dont even comment. I will be removing all comments that i see derogratory or un-needed. Thanks, h