Thursday, December 13, 2012

Can you spare some change? I can, I have an abundance...

So many changes during such a stress filled time of year. We are 99 % positive we have gotten the house in palmetto and are going to put a deposit down on it this weekend. The old man has slightly warmed up to us and I am hoping when he comes to our home to "interview" us he will not change his mind lol. Lets hope Giovanni does not bite his ankles lol.

Jeramie had his first day of work today. It was just an orientation but man was it stressful. I dropped him off at 10 am (for some reason my fingers wrote 'doped' instead of h) and then decided to go out and visit my grandmother. My grandmother is quite a character. She is a recovering addict and also a recent widow. Times have been rough for her lately but i honestly feel bad for her. She has taken a liking to my aunts ex-husbands family. (How jerry springer are we? lol) And for some reason this kind of disturbs me. Not because they are bad people, they are mostly very nice. But mainly because I can not fathom on why HER, of all people, gets to "choose" her family lol. I know this side of my family is 3 gallons of crazy in a 2 gallon bucket... and frankly I don't even really have time for this mess. But no matter what, I don't think i could ever just "find a new family". When it comes to our dysfunction, i take everything for what it is and just try to remember you only get one blood line. Lord knows on that side there are so many hateful comments still lingering, mis-trust and misconceptions, and down right denial lol. But its my family, my blood, and all we have left. It makes me truly sad to see the distance.
So after meeting with the g-ma, I got back into my truck and drove back to walmart. I mean, the 15 minutes i was there, obviously put stuck a toll on jeramies neediness lol. Holey shit, 15 missed calles and 15 texts saysing "answer now". Walmart needed him to have an updated ID. Seriously? Ugh... After going to the closest tax collector and finding out i needed to go home and get two bills, J's birth certificate, his ssc, and our lease, I had about had it. Poor gray was tired from puking all night and I hadn't even showered yet. Finally we dug it all up, got the ID and I drove the 15 minutes back to walmart.                                     For the 3rd time.

I decided to finish up some shopping and get things done. J goes in and then calls me again. Seriously?? He has to wait until 130 now because the chick is on lunch. We wander aimlessly... Look at stupid shit... Get him shirts... Get gray some stuff... Stick my hand in puke. Oh yes. Puke. I decided to get stocking stuffers for grayson because, well, there really is no fucking santa clause. When I go to pick up some stupid bath toy from a cheapo deapo box, it was sticky. I immediately put it back and then did what any freaked out american in walmart would do. I smelled my hand. Yep. Fucking puke. Who pukes in a box of fucking bath toys??? Nasty... and only this would happen to me.

J goes back to the lady and i continue to shop and be freaked out by my hand. I mean... Gross. I have always been seriously neurotic. Don't believe me? Lol... Ask my mother. She will rejoice in childhood stories of me rescuing my "jelly shoe", while endangering my life, from the middle of the road at Albertsons. All so I would not lose my "princess shoe". (whomever invented jellies should be prosecuted anyways lol) Or she will giggle mid sentence reliving how I used to place all my toys around the tub so they wouldn't go down the drain. Little did I know that bath toys could come from the store, already dangerous and puked on. That is way more scary.

So, I am randomly buying crap I can not afford... Placing Items in my cart, and then trading them out for stuff I see and think i "totally need more". Truth is... I was living just fine without any of this shit. So now my thoughts are wandering, and my breast are being revealed by a whiney 1 yearold every five minutes. "Why heather, why are you buying this shit?... Put that back.... Ooooh I have been looking for one of those... Ugh would this kid quit doing that... 'Grayson, leave mommies boobies alone!'.... A blanket... mine doesnt match on the couch... 12 dollars? 4 dollars.... totally...which one?...i saw more in the middle... no ....go back...." Hours. HOURS have gone by. My kid is pulling on his shirt because he is hungry. Duh... Must get my shit together....

So now i just have to get some food. Its 215... I figure letting grayson get some walking practice may help now. It totally does.. Until he gets over stimulated and starts acting like a baby jack wagon. We fight about which way to go, because obviously I am never in charge of my own direction. And why should i be, I just played the price is right for 2 hours in WALMART. So I put him in the cart and he starts screaming. Now its time to play supermarket sweep. Only in walmart,can you host multiple game shows where you are the star. So I grab crap. MSG? Check. Preservatives? Check. Carbs Carbs Carbs with a side of sugar? Check. Lastly, red #5? Got it. To the check out. While I am in the check out, J sends me a text. "Almost done, If you are home, come get me." F . M . L . I start to check out meticulously, I actually want this, not that, this this and this, not that that or that, and this. Oh... ANd that. Ok... Your total is 187.64. Really? Murder?? Yep. Not only have i been degraded in walmart but now i have been molested and then slaughtered at the register. I am seriously ready to leave. But I cant. I must wait.... wait for J. ....... :::sigh::::

So Gray screams, and I sit. And wait. J comes out and we wander to the truck and he loads the "shit". He tells me that he has to be back that night/ friday morning at 4 am. WOOO---IEEE. That will be fun. Waking a 1 year old up at 4 am to drive daddy to work. I hide any sign of annoyance, just happy he is working.

So much change right now... J's new job, my changing hours, finding a place, packing, new truck, grayson growing, christmas.... I don't know if I can take much more change, or any more assaults from wallyworld. Just as we are pulling away so I can get home and shower for work J says to me, "Wow ... Its 3:05... you were in walmart that long? I cant believe it...." Yes J. Yes I fucking was lol ....

xoxo- h

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If you are here to troll, dont even comment. I will be removing all comments that i see derogratory or un-needed. Thanks, h